Maybe our second basemen isn’t stoned after all

Sometimes folks are just chill. Just relaxed, decent, hard-surfing folk.  This is good news for us, bad news for the rest of the league.

Tsunami 10 vs Phitans 0
Cementing its place atop the league’s green ratings, the 2011 Tsunami traveled to Stenzel Park with ten men in three cars.  Not too shabby, eh, Laverne? Eager to draw an even record of 3-3 for the season, the Tsunami followed Black Label’s lead with patient at-bats and opposite field hits to score early and often against the Phitans starter.  Second Base turned back the clock to 2010 and ripped RBI hits to gaps and foul lines, probably only missing a Modesty Derby lead-tying dinger because of the epic Roman wind blowing in across left.  Laser Show was apparently pitching from 50 feet away, or so it seemed to the Phitans.  First-inning jam escaped, Laser Show dominated remaining 8 innings like Danger does the late-night pickings at the 500 Club, striking out 14 in the complete game shutout.

Burritos 4, Tsunami 0
A great post-game showing was diluted only by the unexpected total dominance of the bread loaf-sized burros rolled out by our friends in San Leandro.  Respect to George Human Ruth for choosing great restaurant and to Godfather for leading us in direction of gorgeous twenty-ounce Lagunitas.  Total participation: nine!  That’s enough for three-on-three-on-three in the halfcourt.

The Right Move(s)
Everchill conceives flawless batting order, powerful and balanced from top to bottom.  Keeps Black Label in bullpen for 8 innings, where he should be.

Glove Kings
Rowe:  there’s no right-center gap when Rowe is in right.  Learn this, people!

(Laser Show double-play to end Phitans day at plate would be seen here if not for Laser Show trying to play 3rd base from pitcher’s mound in 7th: E-1)

Bump King
Laser Show: 8 IP, 14 Ks, 0 ER (that’s what they call a Bully’s Shutout)

Big Hot Sticks
Toddamus: 3-5, 3B, 4 RBI, 1 Walkoff RBI
Black Label: 3-4, 2B, BB, 3 RBI, 1 CS (whoops, wrong section)
Laser Show: 1-3, 2B (it still counts if the wind hustled it), 2 R, SB, BB, 
Second Base: 2-3, 2B, BB, One drive destined for the sand box ripped down by the wind.

Line of the Week
Daniels to Toddamus, before going up to plate with one out, bases loaded and chance for walkoff mercy rule hit:  “You’re not getting up.”  (popped out to deep shallow mid-second)

For the Team
Not a single motherfucker tough enough.

K Derby
Laser Show: 27 (well, that was a distance-maker)
Danger: 8
Ivy League: 10
Ratto: 6
Uno: 2
Black Label: 0

Habit Forming
Black Label:  tagged on jersey by an opposing infielder with ball in glove, not on a base.  Third time this season!  Not recommended.

Modesty Derby
Daniels: 1

Neck-Snap Derby
Laser Show: 2

Ripped, Robbed or Jobbed
Daniels: Was he safe at first on would-be infield single?  He was thinking about taking second!  JOBBED.

Second Base: Turned on inside fastball off Fernando Valenzuela’s nephew. Hit it right into the blowers behind left field fence.  Nothing going yard in that direction on this day.  RIPPED.

World Baseball Classic
Just A Letter
Ivy League

From the Enemy’s Perspective
What’s the name of your team, again? I honestly can’t even read that. This-sun-aim?

Laser Show 1 (5)

Larceny Derby*
Laser Show 5 it still counts, even if the ball gets by the catcher)
Daniels 4
Ratto 4*
Everchill 4
Black Label 3*
Chu 1
Buestad 1
*does not include pickoffs or caught stealing (to be tallied at midseason; CS = -1; pickoff = -4)

Postgame Thanks to the Scorer
Pitching Counts!  Yay!

Don’t Go Getting Our Hope UP
The triumphant birth of Runs Batted In!

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