Sunday, May 08, 2011

Maybe our second basemen isn’t stoned after all

Sometimes folks are just chill. Just relaxed, decent, hard-surfing folk.  This is good news for us, bad news for the rest of the league.


Tsunami 10 vs Phitans 0
Cementing its place atop the league’s green ratings, the 2011 Tsunami traveled to Stenzel Park with ten men in three cars.  Not too shabby, eh, Laverne? Eager to draw an even record of 3-3 for the season, the Tsunami followed Black Label’s lead with patient at-bats and opposite field hits to score early and often against the Phitans starter.  Second Base turned back the clock to 2010 and ripped RBI hits to gaps and foul lines, probably only missing a Modesty Derby lead-tying dinger because of the epic Roman wind blowing in across left.  Laser Show was apparently pitching from 50 feet away, or so it seemed to the Phitans.  First-inning jam escaped, Laser Show dominated remaining 8 innings like Danger does the late-night pickings at the 500 Club, striking out 14 in the complete game shutout.

Burritos 4, Tsunami 0
A great post-game showing was diluted only by the unexpected total dominance of the bread loaf-sized burros rolled out by our friends in San Leandro.  Respect to George Human Ruth for choosing great restaurant and to Godfather for leading us in direction of gorgeous twenty-ounce Lagunitas.  Total participation: nine!  That’s enough for three-on-three-on-three in the halfcourt.

The Right Move(s)
Everchill conceives flawless batting order, powerful and balanced from top to bottom.  Keeps Black Label in bullpen for 8 innings, where he should be.

Glove Kings
Rowe:  there’s no right-center gap when Rowe is in right.  Learn this, people!

(Laser Show double-play to end Phitans day at plate would be seen here if not for Laser Show trying to play 3rd base from pitcher’s mound in 7th: E-1)

Bump King
Laser Show: 8 IP, 14 Ks, 0 ER (that’s what they call a Bully’s Shutout)

Big Hot Sticks
Toddamus: 3-5, 3B, 4 RBI, 1 Walkoff RBI
Black Label: 3-4, 2B, BB, 3 RBI, 1 CS (whoops, wrong section)
Laser Show: 1-3, 2B (it still counts if the wind hustled it), 2 R, SB, BB, 
Second Base: 2-3, 2B, BB, One drive destined for the sand box ripped down by the wind.

Line of the Week
Daniels to Toddamus, before going up to plate with one out, bases loaded and chance for walkoff mercy rule hit:  “You’re not getting up.”  (popped out to deep shallow mid-second)

For the Team
Not a single motherfucker tough enough.

K Derby
Laser Show: 27 (well, that was a distance-maker)
Danger: 8
Ivy League: 10
Ratto: 6
Uno: 2
Black Label: 0

Habit Forming
Black Label:  tagged on jersey by an opposing infielder with ball in glove, not on a base.  Third time this season!  Not recommended.

Modesty Derby
Daniels: 1

Neck-Snap Derby
Laser Show: 2

Ripped, Robbed or Jobbed
Daniels: Was he safe at first on would-be infield single?  He was thinking about taking second!  JOBBED.

Second Base: Turned on inside fastball off Fernando Valenzuela’s nephew. Hit it right into the blowers behind left field fence.  Nothing going yard in that direction on this day.  RIPPED.

M.I.A.
Ratto
World Baseball Classic
Just A Letter
Ivy League
Danger

From the Enemy’s Perspective
What’s the name of your team, again? I honestly can’t even read that. This-sun-aim?

Larceny
Laser Show 1 (5)

Larceny Derby*
Laser Show 5 it still counts, even if the ball gets by the catcher)
Daniels 4
Ratto 4*
Everchill 4
Black Label 3*
Chu 1
Buestad 1
*does not include pickoffs or caught stealing (to be tallied at midseason; CS = -1; pickoff = -4)

Postgame Thanks to the Scorer
Pitching Counts!  Yay!

Don’t Go Getting Our Hope UP
The triumphant birth of Runs Batted In!

Posted by Tsunami34 on 05/08 at 05:39 PM
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Sunday, May 01, 2011

John Danger Hirsch doesn’t give a fuck if you don’t like the results

You think he does? Hell no, but Danger knows he gave it his all. Anyone else around here committing to pulling an eleventh-hour slumpbuster out of a shadowy BART car for the good of the team? Check YOUR commitment to the 2011 edition of the San Francisco Tsunami before you criticize.


Tsunami 3 vs Bay Sox 9
Ivy League brought his best effort of the season when the Tsunami needed it most. After escaping a first-inning, two-on, nobody-out jam, he cruised for four more innings until reaching his limit. The rookies brought the defense, Toddamus and Black Label smothering any ground snakes on the left side. The mighty Bay Sox, who ten-runned the Tsunami twice in a double-header last year, were held in check until finding momentum and confidence in a sixth-inning leadoff error. A couple relievers and one Laser Show twisted neck later, with Danger getting his leg work in across the softball fields, the Tsunami felt down two touchdowns. Coach Everchill broke up the league-MVP Botterman’s no-hitter in the fifth, at least, and Big Cat Uno returned from semi-retirement of hitting to go 2-4. Laser Show settled in after the rough start, and the top of the order rallied twice against Bay Sox relieve and former Tsunami Foley. We would’ve had them in game 2.

The Right Move(s)
Everchill gave the pill to Ivy League again, trusted him against the deep veteran Bay Sox lineup and was rewarded with

The Wrong Move (aka the trade of Kendrick Perkins)
Everchill pulls Danger for Laser Show, seemingly The Right Move considering Laser Show’s dominance vs. Topes, Red Giants and Aces and Danger’s two walks, one triple surrendered in relief of Ivy League. Still seemed like The Right Move when Laser Show had SFNABA legend (and former Tsunami) Kawasaki 0-2 with two outs and the bases loaded. But then a softball practice was interrupted on a nearby field.

Glove Kings
Black Label: Cookie Monster D at third. Clean sweeps of scud line drives and perfect bare-hand grab and chuck on dribbler off speedster.

Bump King
Ivy League: 5.1 IP, 5 Ks, 2 ER

Big Hot Sticks
Laser Show: 2-5, 3B, 2 R, SB
Big Cat Uno: 2-4
Daniels: 2-4, BB, R, SB, 2 RBI
Black Label: 1-4, 2B, RBI
Everchill: 1-4 (broke up no-no in 5th)

For the Team
Black Label: Don Fucking Baylor at this point. Wore a League MVP slider right in the soft spot of bone in center of left elbow. Just like they teach in college. And in the first inning again.

K Derby
Laser Show: 13
Danger: 8
Ivy League: 10
Ratto: 6
Uno: 2
Black Label: 0

Habit Forming
Just A Letter: tagged on jersey by an opposing infielder with ball in glove, not on a base. Second time this season. Not recommended.

Modesty Derby
Daniels: 1

Neck-Snap Derby
Laser Show: 2 (Not to worry, Grand Slams only count as one)

Ripped, Robbed or Jobbed
Danger: Shrunken zone for jort loogy reliever. No dice on consecutive two-strike counts. JOBBED.

M.I.A.
Morning’O
Ratto
Godfather
G. H. Ruth

From the Enemy’s Perspective
Good thing we’re not playing throw out your best and your worst inning. Cause then we would have lost.

Larceny
Daniels 1 (3)
Everchill 2 (3)
Ratto 3! (4)
Black Label 2 (3)
Chu 1 (1)
Buestad 1 (1)

Larceny Derby*
Daniels 4 (new leader!!!!!!!!!!!!!) (it doesn’t matter if they throw down, it still counts)
Laser Show 4
Ratto 4
Everchill 4 (it doesn’t matter if they hold you on, it still counts)
Black Label 3
Chu 1 (catcher steals should count double)
Buestad 1
*does not include pickoffs or caught stealing (to be tallied at midseason; CS = -1; pickoff = -4)

Repeated Postgame Thanks to the Scorer
Pitching Changes! Yay!

Just Forget It, At This Point
R.I.P. RBI.
Posted by Tsunami34 on 05/01 at 05:38 PM
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